Any perspective on this disaster would be appreciated. My wife left me almost a year ago. We're in
our 30s, we've been married 5 years, and have a beautiful 2-year-old. In short, we had trouble communicating and getting along, she basically alienated most of my friends with her bad temper and distant personality.
Two months after my wife moved out, she told me she was happy without me and suggested that I move on. I then fell wildly for a beautiful 23-year-old, and we started a very passionate relationship. Soon thereafter I got an anonymous call that my wife had been cheating on me with a married co-worker, since before she left me. When I found out my wife had been cheating on me I was somewhat relieved, felt somehow exonerated, and was OK just dealing with the mess and having great times with my lover, and luckily sharing 50% of the time with my boy.
Here's where the hard part starts. Now my wife says she sorry, that she misses me, that she's a different person, and that we can be better/stronger together after what we've learned. I told my girlfriend I wanted some space to think about it, risking our fun/wild albeit young/reckless/rebound relationship. Now my wife will probably have an opportunity to move, affording us the cheaters protection program escape, meaning I would basically have to sever all my current friendships and disappear into humility.
Our divorce can be finalized in about a month, with me luckily getting shared custody. I've never cheated on anyone before, but now I find myself over and over having passionate love sessions with my girlfriend followed by conversations with my wife on the phone about what could be. Both women are beautiful, ideally of course I would be with my wife, all else being equal. If it weren't for my son, I would never go back to her.
If it weren't for her affair followed by my affair of sorts, I would try again with her. Now I have both and I don't know what to do. Do I end it all, stand up for myself, live with some sadness, and concentrate on my boy? Or do I go back to her, with shame to all my friends who know her as a cheating *****, and go back on the promises I made to my girlfriend, in the hopes of having the relationship with my wife that I always wanted? Do I risk continuing in a horrible marriage with a person I largely despise, in the hopes that it could be different this time? I have to make this decision in about two weeks.
our 30s, we've been married 5 years, and have a beautiful 2-year-old. In short, we had trouble communicating and getting along, she basically alienated most of my friends with her bad temper and distant personality.
Two months after my wife moved out, she told me she was happy without me and suggested that I move on. I then fell wildly for a beautiful 23-year-old, and we started a very passionate relationship. Soon thereafter I got an anonymous call that my wife had been cheating on me with a married co-worker, since before she left me. When I found out my wife had been cheating on me I was somewhat relieved, felt somehow exonerated, and was OK just dealing with the mess and having great times with my lover, and luckily sharing 50% of the time with my boy.
Here's where the hard part starts. Now my wife says she sorry, that she misses me, that she's a different person, and that we can be better/stronger together after what we've learned. I told my girlfriend I wanted some space to think about it, risking our fun/wild albeit young/reckless/rebound relationship. Now my wife will probably have an opportunity to move, affording us the cheaters protection program escape, meaning I would basically have to sever all my current friendships and disappear into humility.
Our divorce can be finalized in about a month, with me luckily getting shared custody. I've never cheated on anyone before, but now I find myself over and over having passionate love sessions with my girlfriend followed by conversations with my wife on the phone about what could be. Both women are beautiful, ideally of course I would be with my wife, all else being equal. If it weren't for my son, I would never go back to her.
If it weren't for her affair followed by my affair of sorts, I would try again with her. Now I have both and I don't know what to do. Do I end it all, stand up for myself, live with some sadness, and concentrate on my boy? Or do I go back to her, with shame to all my friends who know her as a cheating *****, and go back on the promises I made to my girlfriend, in the hopes of having the relationship with my wife that I always wanted? Do I risk continuing in a horrible marriage with a person I largely despise, in the hopes that it could be different this time? I have to make this decision in about two weeks.
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